"A good time to laugh is anytime you can."

Damn You, Brad Pitt

This summer I decided to grow out my hair a little bit and experiment. Not super long, like Jay and Silent Bob status, but just longer than usual. I wanted a little more flexibility and creativity, but I had no idea what to aim for. I never strayed away from the typical Asian hair cut, you know, the one that involves saying “1 on the sides, short on top” to my barber.

Since I had no idea where to start, I thought I’d get a little help from the most beautiful people in the world.

*Opens browser, Google: male celebrity hairstyles, press ent-*

Thinks to myself, “hmmm, hold on. This is just plain silly…”

*Click:  “Tools”, Start: “Private Browsing”, Google: male celebrity hair styles, press enter*

“There we goooo”

Understandably so, I got a lot of results involving Brad Pitt. Not a bad person to start with, so I started surfing around and looked at some different styles he rocked.

Cool, cool, not too shabby.

Oh yeah, I’d look good with that.

Dude, that’s a panty-dropper for sure.

That is definitely the – waaaait a second…………..

I don’t know what’s more sad, the fact that at this point there was a puddle of drool that collected on my keyboard or that it took me four pictures of this hot piece of -  er, I mean, Brad Pitt, for me to realize that:

THIS IS BRAD MUH-FUCKING PITT!

It doesn’t matter what he’s got on top of his head, with a face like that he can get away with anything!

I mean, if I were Brad Pitt, I’d be banging the Aniston’s of the world, marrying them, and cheating on them for the Jolie’s of the world… Then adopt a hundred kids!!!

You: Oh yeah, that’s the life!

Oh that’s just the beginning my friend! If I were Brad Pitt, I’d rob rich bajillionaires not once, not twice, but THREE times with a wingman that is just as good-looking as me:

You: OH THAT JUST AIN’T FAIR…

No, that’s nothing. If I were Brad Pitt, I’d saunter all by myself right up to the high walls of Troy screaming “HECTOR, HECTOORRRR!!!!!” in front of the entire city to avenge the death of my cousin who thought he was the shit but got raped by, well, Hector.

You: *rolling on the floor* SO BADASS!!!

So badass is right. A badass factor I do not have. Sigh, where’s my barber? 1 on the sides, short on top, please.

3rr0r

I came across this little blunder in a book I’m currently reading:

I used a very sophisticated and powerful editing program in order to precisely pin point that bad boy for an easier and more enjoyable tumblr experience (so yeah, you’re welcome).

Anyway, I was so happy when I saw this! I kind of like finding typos in books. Well, obviously only occasionally. Otherwise, I’d probably be reading a pretty shitty book. But yeah, the fact that one pops up so rarely makes it kind of rewarding to find! A book goes through so many drafts and reads from several different people before it’s released, so how does a typo like this slip by? The “1” and “L” keys are literally on the opposite ends of the keyboard! (You just looked at your keyboard didn’t you? I’m no liar). So many thoughts rushed through my mind on how or why this could possibly happen:

Maybe it was a special code the author wanted me to decipher. Alright fine, I just finished reading Digital Fortress a couple of weeks ago and I’m all about gnikaerb sedoc right now. (See what I did there? Those words are spelled backwards son! Like a code… you know…? Not gonna lie, that shit took me like 2 minutes to write and now my head kind of hurts).

Maybe the author used to be an aZn G4ngst3r and typ3d L1k3 TH1ZZZ!!

Maybe an editor was pissed off at the author and wanted revenge.

         “Heh, changing these L’s into 1’s, that’ll teach that bastard alright”

Maybe the publisher was trying to do some Willy Wonka golden ticket type of thing and this typo signifies that I WON! Give me my god damn chocolate factory, now.

Or maybe I should just really shut up and move on with the book.

PS, it would be super ironic to have any typos in this tumblr post, so I made sure to read over it sevral times just in case.

PPS, I spelled “several” wrong on purpose. IN YOUR FACE!

Conversation with my Ma

I was having dinner earlier today and my mom was keeping me company at the table while playing with our cat, Monster.

She begins to tell me: “Aw, Monster wants to go out again. I let her out earlier, she slept all day, and now she is ready to play again.”

Me: “Wait, I thought you don’t let Monster out anymore.”

Mom: “I know, but I feel soooo bad. She loves so much to run and play with the birds outside and feel the breeze from the wind on her face, I have to let her out!”

hahaha! Seriously verbatim. She’s too funny.

Memories

I had some remodeling done in my bedroom a few months ago so it has kind of been a complete mess lately. There’s this huge pile of old stuff just lying around on my desk and I took a gander the other day and found the funniest things. Oh how time has gone by so fast. Let’s take a sweet walk down memory lane…

Here is my diploma for successfully accomplishing Junior High, whaaaatuuup.

And here is my Sunny Hills High School leather-bound case for my diploma.

And here is my Sunny Hills High School dip-

Oh, wait a minute. I did not get mine because I didn’t pay book fines on time. They told me to pick it up during summer but I was too lazy. It’s cool, they said they hold on to it for 10 years before they trash it. Means I got 7 left, plenty o’ time!

Here are some comic strips I made during class when I was a freshman in high school.

Alright fine, when I was freshman in college.

Alright fine, it was a couple of weeks ago.

Just kidding, freshman year in high school:

I know. I’m wondering the same thing you are, “how did I get into college…?”

But I mean, come on, I had some potential:

Word.

Here is the boutonniere I wore to my junior year homecoming when I took the lovely miss Anna Youn:

She cropped me out of our couple picture when she used it as her MySpace profile picture. Eh, can’t blame her – I would’ve cropped me out too.

And here is:

Helps me sleep at night by keeping my thigh warm and making me look beautiful.

Next I found some reeeeally old photos. Here’s one of my mother:

I don’t know where or when it was taken. I only know that I love it… a lot.

Here is a picture of my older brother and me dueling it out with our awesome ninja swords:

Apparently I lost.

And here is my name badge for UCI’s SPOP!

Geesh, time flew by.

Years go by fast but days go by slow.

Embrace it all while you can!